Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do vagina's smell?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
