I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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