hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The best revenge is premature balding
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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