I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
