Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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