Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
