I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
