Your tits are I can't wait for
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
