So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
