people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
