pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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