i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
