so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
