I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
