Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
