alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
