gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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