Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
