I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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