Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm at about main and main street
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
