hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
