You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
