do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
