What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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