Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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