i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
