i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
