i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
