I'm gonna have a badass scar
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
