Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he thought i was a dude.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
