it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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