dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
