hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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