just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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