I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
