At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
