i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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