Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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