Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
