just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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