Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
