sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
