i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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