I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
