wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
