Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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