best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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