A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
false alarm, still single
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
