doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
