its not stalking. its research.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
