Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
