its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
